Boss to Coach Conversation 1 of 5 Setting Expectations
Week 1 – Defining Expectations

Where Do You Lean?

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Lesson 4 Where Do You Lean?

When you set expectations, you are always balancing two things:

• WHAT needs to be achieved

• HOW we go about achieving it

Where you naturally lean will shape which one gets more attention. Most of us instinctively listen to two of three voices.

  1. Me Self orientation.  How do I feel if I do this? 

  2. Them Other’s orientation.  How do they feel about it?

  3. It Results orientation.  What is getting achieved?

What result are we trying to achieve?

  • IT most strongly influences the WHAT.

  • ME and THEM most strongly influence the HOW.

If one voice dominates, expectations drift.

Activity on Page 8 of your Blue Workbook

  1. Without overthinking it, identify the two that feel most natural when a new task lands on your desk. 

  2. Now reflect.

    • When you set expectations, do you default to the WHAT?

    • Do you spend more time clarifying the HOW?

    • What might you underemphasise?

  3. Write a sentence that captures this link. Because I lean toward ______ and ______, my expectations tend to over-focus on ______.

  4. Now identify one or two of your Top 5 strengths that drive this instinct. To help refer to Page 6 of your White Workbook, the report My Signature Themes Contributions and what your strengths are Known For. Keep it simple:

    • How does this strength help?

    • How might it overplay?

Notice the pattern

The combination of these approaches is summarised as follows.  You may recognise yourself in one of these tensions:

  • If you have a me and them orientation it could sound like “I’m happy, they’re happy, we are not getting things done!”

  • If you have a them and it orientation it could sound like “They are happy, I’m getting results, I’m exhausted! “

  • If you have a me and it orientation it could sound like “I love what I do, I’m getting things done, I’m frustrating others!”

All have value. None are complete on their own. Which is the reason the exercise is called Balance Indicators. 

Activity Bring In the Missing Voice. On Page 8 of your Blue Workbook

How do you ensure all these voices have a seat at the table when determining expectations so both the HOW’s and WHAT’s are considered?

Look at the one you did not choose. That voice is often the one missing when expectations feel unbalanced.

  1. What would it look like to intentionally include this voice when setting expectations?

  2. Who around you could help you strengthen it?

Close the Loop

Balanced expectations sound like:

• Clear on the WHAT

• Aligned on the HOW

• Sustainable for the person delivering it

That is the centre.

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