Lesson 9 Catching People Doing Things Right: Language of Workplace Appreciation


Let’s benchmark what ideal behaviours look like

Not only do we struggle with the quantity of appreciation but the quality of it.  Recognition focuses on what the person does.  Appreciation focuses on who the person is. 

Activity Think of the best appreciation you have ever received. 

  1. On Page 17 of your Black Workbook write down the story of what that was. 

  2. Consider what recognition looked and sounded like (what was the words they used).   

  3. Use SMARTER as a check list on Page 5 of your Black Workbook to ensure what you have noted is as specific as possible e.g. presented an award, a “thank you”, taken out for coffee

  4. Which of your Top 5 strengths do you think this story most relates to?  Refer to the My Signature Themes Motivations Guide and the row I Love, and I Need on Page 7 of your White Workbook

  5. Share this with your team leader or a colleague


Optional Activity
Ask your team members, team leader or a colleague what the best appreciation they have ever received.  Listen out for clues of you could show them appreciation.

What the exercise above shows us, is that it is important we appreciate people in the way that they want to be appreciated.  Not in the way that you might want or in the way that is most comfortable for you. 

Case Study In 12: The Elements of Great Managing by Gallup, one story highlights the power of personalised recognition in employee engagement. The book recounts the experience of a high-performing salesman who, despite his success, did not feel truly appreciated by his company. Standard forms of recognition, such as public praise and financial incentives, did not resonate with him.  To address this, the company decided to recognise him in a more meaningful way. They secretly arranged for his family to be flown in and paid for a special trip for him and his family. This thoughtful gesture was aligned with his personal values and priorities, significantly enhancing his sense of appreciation and engagement​.

The Five Languages of workplace appreciation as identified by Gary Chapman and Paul White can be a useful and fun tool to help reveal the best way to show appreciation are:

  1.  Words of Affirmation: This language involves expressing appreciation and recognition through verbal or written communication. It includes compliments, praise, and acknowledging a job well done.

  2. Quality Time: This language emphasises spending meaningful time with colleagues or employees, actively listening, and engaging in conversations. It involves giving undivided attention, having one-on-one meetings, being on time.

  3. Acts of Service: This language focuses on helping and supporting colleagues by taking actions that alleviate their workload or assist them in accomplishing tasks. It includes acts such as offering support, providing resources, removing “red tape” or lending a helping hand.

  4. Tangible Gifts: This language involves showing appreciation through tangible, physical gifts. It can include items such as personalised notes, gift cards, or small tokens of appreciation that demonstrate thoughtfulness and consideration.

  5. Physical Touch: This language centres around non-invasive physical contact, such as a handshake, high-five, or pat on the back. Physical touch can convey warmth, connection, and support, but it's essential to consider individual boundaries and cultural norms in the workplace.

Watch For more on the languages of workplace appreciation see the video summary

Activity Discover your preferred Language of Workplace appreciation by completing the profile tool here.  Circle your appreciation style on Page 17 of your Black Workbook.

Two ideas to apply…

What to say

There are many ways we can tell someone we appreciate the work they are doing.  Phrases you could use include

  • I believe in you.  Help team members feel confident and trusted.

  • Thank you.  Shows you appreciate their hard work.

  • You’ve got this.  Encourages them to handle challenges on their own.

  • What do you need to be successful?  Shows you want to help them achieve their goals.

  • How are you really doing?  Shows you care about them, not just their work.

  • Tell me more about your idea.  Encourages them to share and develop their creativity.

  • What challenges are you facing?  Lets them share problems they may need help with.

  • Let’s celebrate.  Recognises their contributions and reminds you to enjoy the wins.

  • I trust your judgement.  Let’s them know you have confidence in them.

  • What do you think we should do? Asks for their ideas and includes them in decisions.

  • How can I support your growth? Shows you’re invested in their career advancement.

What to do

  • The best managers check in with teams once a day through multiple means.  They have one meaningful connection a week lasting 15 minutes or longer

  • Leaders I work with make a list and check off that they have connected with their team at least once a week. If not they will send them a short “checking in” DM, text, e-mail or phone call and use a different method each time. 

Optional Activity Get your team to complete the languages of workplace appreciation and share the results with each other

Optional Activity Could you complete this feedback exercise with your team leader or a colleague?

This exercise is about improving our own skill set in giving and receiving feedback.  Some people are more comfortable than others, and that’s OK.  This exercise is about your own baseline and getting more comfortable with the “uncomfortable.”  Complete the steps as follows

  1. Print the feedback form.  This form is also on Page 15 of your Black Workbook

  2. Complete a form for every person in your team and get them to do the same. 

  3. Take no more than 1-minute to answer each question.  Go with your gut instinct

  4. If you can and know the person’s strengths, there is space to acknowledge which CliftonStrengths theme you see of theirs in action.  If this proves too difficult, could you do this together in person?

  5. The idea is to run through the form with each person “speed dating” style.  One person will get a turn and then reverse the conversation

  6. If you complete these sheets beforehand, be prepared to leave the sheet with the person you are giving feedback to for their future reference

  7. If you don’t get a chance to talk to everyone during the process, plan to do a follow up session later

Use the review questions on Page 16 of your Black Workbook to debrief the exercise

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