If everyone has unique talents and skills how is it that some people are just plain annoying?

We are often told to look for the good in everyone; I find this piece of advice shared with me particularly when I am having a problem with someone else. But the question I asked myself when I first started discovering the world of GALLUP Strengths was, if we all have great talents, why are some people difficult to deal with?

As strengths coaches we talk about the difference between raw and mature talents. A raw talent is uninformed, inexperienced, tends to be more self-oriented and is often unproductive. A mature talent is well-informed, more practiced, and tends to be more others-oriented and highly productive. For example someone with ACHIEVER in its raw form would sound like “I must keep busy doing anything.” In its mature form “I must produce desired results.”

When we get strong reaction to someone else, and potentially a strength in its raw form, we in the strengths trade call this glare. Glare is when you are blinded by a person’s personality or other attributes, in this case a strength is so strong in someone, yet not mature enough, that you find yourself saying "whoa!"

So how does a talent move from raw state to a mature strength? This can be done through two things. Firstly, developing more knowledge and skills: such as attending a course, reading something, having a conversation with someone who has more experience. Secondly, and my favourite one, character. Character, is the experience of life. Sometimes we just need to get knocked around a bit.

I am an ACHIEVER (stamina for working hard). I like to get things done. So much so, that my work was my life for quite some time. And “doing” all to easily creeps into my relaxing time. Ironically enough I am writing this on a Wednesday night after work. I also have DELIBERATIVE (vigilant). I'm pretty much as risk adverse as they come. I can take a long time to make a decision. There have been a number of times I have almost bought a rental property and then let it pass me by. Passing on it seemed like a good idea at the time, but that property would be worth double the value now.

So how can we move from raw to mature? My advice is that half the battle is having this on radar. One of the new tools I have on hand is a raw and mature guide. Something you can pin to your wall as a handy reference. Secondly, put an action plan in place. An action can be as simple as reading something, talking to someone or asking for feedback from someone you really trust and who you know will be honest. Experiencing my own raw versus mature first hand I can agree with the statement, that sometimes your greatest strengths are your greatest weaknesses. Which hopefully means as I grow up, my greatest strengths will get even stronger.