Like a Boss: The Power of the Pause
I used to think the higher up you go, the quicker you need to move. Sharper answers, faster reactions, big boss energy. But lately, I’ve been noticing something else entirely. The real power? It’s in the pause.
We get triggered all the time — emails, meetings, tension, feedback that lands a little close to home. And most of us were raised professionally to leap into action. Be seen. Be helpful. Be a fixer. But here’s the twist: the higher you go in an organisation, the more you have to unlearn that.
At some point, leadership stops being about solving everything yourself. It starts being about making space — so others can step in, show initiative, own it. That space? That’s the pause.
Your Brain Is a Bit Too Quick for Its Own Good
Here’s a slightly spooky fact: your brain is about half a second ahead of your conscious awareness.
Neuroscientist Benjamin Libet discovered this in the 1980s through experiments that showed your brain initiates an action before you’re consciously aware you’ve decided to do it. The neural activity ramps up about 500 milliseconds before you think, “I’m going to do this.” (More on Libet’s research here)
So when something triggers you — that annoying email, that off-hand comment in a meeting — your body is already gearing up to react before you’ve even had time to think it through.
If we don’t interrupt this process, we’re not really leading — we’re just playing catch-up with our brain’s default settings.
Enter: The Boss Move
The pause is the number one tool to shift from reaction to response. And yes, it’s a skill. Luckily, it’s one you can practise — and Jefferson Fisher lays it out beautifully on The Diary of a CEO podcast (around the 11:50–18:00 mark).
Here’s his four-step way to build a pause you can actually use:
Breathe in through your nose for two seconds Exhale through your mouth with a heavy sigh (yes, let it out).
Do it again, but with a softer exhale — less dramatic, still intentional.
Now breathe in through your nose and out through your nose — slow, heavy, steady.
And finally, one more round, this time, silently. Barely perceptible. Just you and the pause.
That last breath is the one to keep in your back pocket. For meetings. For conflict. For when your blood’s up and your brain’s already halfway out the door. It buys your thinking mind time to catch up — and gives your values a chance to lead.
You Don’t Have to Be Quick to Be Clever
We often think speed equals smarts. But pausing, just a beat or two, makes space for clarity. And it signals composure. When you respond after a pause, you sound more considered, more intelligent, more in control.
Even better, the pause isn’t just for you. It creates permission for others to speak, think, stretch. To lead. It’s one of those quiet leadership tools that creates exponential impact.
So next time you feel that itch — the urge to jump in, defend, fix, prove — don’t.
Pause. Breathe. Let the silence do a little work.
Because the best leaders don’t just speak like a boss. They pause like one.