Give your team a good listening to

I listened to Simon Sinek talk about Nelson Mandela and how he is universally recognised as a great leader. Mandela was asked what made him such a great leader and his response was that he was the son of a chief and his father taught him two things: whenever there was a tribal meeting they always sat in a circle; his dad was always the last to speak.

I find his second point interesting because as a leader of a team

• It is in the silence/pause more information is revealed

• You help people come up with their own answers to problems, which creates ownership

• You ensure everyone feels heard, which creates safety

• You benefit from the wisdom of the room and get as much information as possible to make the best decision. It makes you wiser.

We are taught from the get go at school that we should always be the first to have the answer. It’s ingrained in us to come up with a solution, so of course we are going to respond. It’s also why we get promoted to be a boss. I pride myself on having all the answers. Frankly that can get annoying and is counter productive as a coach.

Now leading a team, the trick is to, as with many things, do the opposite. So next time you are in a meeting or having a 1-1 conversation could you

• Write it down versus talk it out

• Pause – perhaps focus on your breathing see this article on the box breathing technique

• Turn your statement or comment into a question?

• Have an agreement with someone in the room that you trust to give you a signal to pause.

You might be surprised with the answers you get.