To Take A Step Forward Sometimes We Need To Slow Down
There are times when I coach and will ask a question, especially about a childhood memory (for example, see my last post about “How to Recharge Your Battery”), and sometimes people will struggle to answer. Or I follow-up a coaching session to see how the objectives we set are going, and the answer will be “I want to, but I just haven’t had the time.”
I've just finished reading a book called In Praise of Slow by Carl Honoré. And his point is this; our culture teaches that faster is better. But in the race to keep up everything suffers – our work, diet and health, our relationships and sex lives. We are in such a hurry that anyone or anything that slows us down becomes the enemy.
The trick is to clearly distinguish between when you need to go fast and when you need to go slow. Like a computer that has too many apps open, when our minds are busy or full, there's no space to even ask a question let alone process the answer. Sometimes we just need space to think and we often get caught up with the business of being busy. Too busy. And I am a big culprit of doing this, especially with my ACHIEVER strength, which drives me to get things done.
So how do we create space? What I am learning, slowly but surely, is to draw from a list of things that slow me down. These include:
Spending more time with friends and family
Taking a walk with a friend
Reading the newspaper without switching on the TV
Taking a few minutes to sit still in a quiet place, by the sea is good for me, and I did this today
Cooking a meal from scratch
Eating dinner at the table instead of in front of the television
Taking an afternoon nap
Starting a journal and write something down. Anything.
Taking a few deep breathes. And then a few more.
Having a cup of coffee with someone you really like. No, someone you REALLY like. With a person that allows you the space to be yourself. To talk or just sit there and be.
What I am finding is after doing some of the above, my head settles and things “pop-up” which often give clarity to the questions I am asking at the time. So the next time you are challenged with a question or problem, my question to you is this. What can you do to slow down; to move forward?